Well my first week back to work after my vacation to Savannah, GA and Tampa, FL and everywhere between came and went as I came back to work guns blazing!  Thursday after work I had my final anger management class where we presented our amends letters and received our course completion certificates.  It felt good to have completed the program although managing my anger is going to be a daily process as I learn to put into effect what I have learned in the class and overcome negative mindsets that act as triggers and contribute to my fairly bad temper.  I have no doubt that I will lose numerous battles yet still, but the key is to win the war which I know I have the capacity for accomplishing.

The weekend itself was rather uneventful as I usually prefer since I work rather late during the week so I like to catch up with some quality time on my couch!  Saturday I rented Observe and Report with Seth Rogen as a militant mall cop whose not playing with a full deck of cards.  It’s a fairly funny film although it’s not one of Rogen’s best films by a long shot.  A decent rental when there’s not a lot to choose from.

Observe and Report  \m/  \m/  \m

Nothing much else worth mentioning happened this weekend so I’ll file this one under a good and lazy weekend following a hard-hitting week back from vacation.

Well another holiday weekend has come and gone but not without leaving its tale to be told.  Before the weekend officially started, I went to the Handlebar Thursday night right after work for a little local band action with TREND KILL OMEGA, KELEN HELLER, THRESHOLD and WAITING FOR AIR.  I got into the auditorium just after WAITING FOR AIR finished their set unfortunately because I was having to tend to some serious business: feeding my fat ass!

Tyler from promotions, aka Twisted Tyler, and his band THRESHOLD were up next and put on a great show.  I gotta say Tyler really is impressive on stage - can’t wait ’til I get in a band and play a show again!  I got to catch KELEN HELLER for the first time featuring Ricky and Mark formerly of HEADSNAP and their set was interesting to say the very least!  I managed to stay late enough to catch a handful of songs from TREND KILL OMEGA’s set as it was my first time seeing them with their new singer whom I went to high school with.  I gotta say, I was impressed “Opie” as we used to call him back in the day!

Friday after work I stayed in the office to finish up a few extra things and, when I went out to my car, lo and behold there was Rebecca parked next to me!  She came into town to visit family and surprise me with a visit so we went to Blockbuster to trade one of my online movies for Push on Blu-ray and then grabbed some dinner from Oriental House.

Push was an interesting spin on the ’superhero’ genre as it is a tale of people with extraordinary abilities running from a secret agency that seeks to research and exploit their abilities.  Fairly clever film for a decent movie rental night.

Push  \m/  \m/  \m/  \

Saturday I took it easy most of the day and then forced my lazy ass to get off the couch and head out to Gottrocks that night to catch LECHEROUS NOCTURNE, GIGAN and INSIDIOUS DEMISE with Rebecca.  We got there just as INSIDIOUS DEMISE was finishing their set which ended before we could step foot inside the door.  GIGAN was next with their unique style of death metal and I noticed a fellow lefty playing guitar and a hot chick kicking ass on bass!

LECHEROUS NOCTURNE dominated the stage next with Kreishloff’s ludicrously fast shredding and Hohenstein’s God of Thunder vocals and stage presence.  Filling in bass duties was the singer/guitarist from APOTHEOSIS who’s name escapes me because I always call him “Heavy Metal Kenny” because he looks like the death metal version of my best friend, Kenny!

Also over the weekend I managed to take in a showing of the new Rob Zombie flick Halloween II.  Granted I had already heard all the not so flattering reviews of the film, but I decided to give it a shot anyways.  After seeing it for myself, I can honestly see where some people would have complaints because the film does have weird moments that seem to be for the sake of just being weird (and when I say weird, I MEAN it: watch out for a very “Weird” cameo).  Don’t get me wrong, I love Rob Zombie’s morbid and often trippy style but this did go overboard in a few areas.  However, I enjoyed the film overall and liked it more than I remember liking the first Halloween remake he did a couple of years ago.

Halloween II  \m/  \m/  \m/

Sunday I managed to make myself go to church and even go to that night’s Single Adult’s ministry, The Point.  As usual, I stood out like a sore thumb as most people who are rockers/metalheads usually don’t go to church nor get involved in religious activities which makes it a bit difficult for me since I seem to represent two very different groups without really belonging to either.  I know it makes me unique and I even hope it even opens some people’s minds on the stereotypes related to the groups but, damn, it makes it really lonely and alienating sometimes.

I was distraught at the news of the passing of John Hughes this past Thursday.  Hughes was one of the greatest filmmakers from the 80s whose films still resonate with moviegoers today.  So, over the course of my weekend in seclusion, I spent a little time watching a couple of his films.

Before I continue with my reflection of Hughes’ films, I’ll give my usual rundown of my weekend.  Most of the weekend, for the most part, was fairly unproductive as I had intended.  I went to my anger management class Saturday morning and then went home and took a nap….yeah!

Sunday morning I got off my lazy ass and actually made it to church and then paid my mom and Aunt Pat a visit.  We decided to order Obsessed with Beyonce Knowles and Ali Larter on pay-per-view.  The film is everything you would expect from the previews and maybe even a little more.  I, like most men (and even women, for that matter), was waiting on the catfight between Beyonce and Ali at the end of the film and I was not disappointed.  Nice ass shot of Ali in her skivvies!

Obsessed  \m/  \m/  \m/  \n

When I got home I decided to revisit a couple of John Hughes’ classic films starting with my personal favorite The Breakfast Club which is a brilliant look into the social structure of high school and how it parallels that of the ‘real world’.  It made me realize how much I enjoy studying people and the social circles they belong to and their personality dysfunctions.  I also noted that I tend to be like Ally Sheedy’s ‘basket case’ character but with the outspoken sarcasm and defiant nature of Judd Nelson’s ‘criminal’ character.

I see this film as being a great look at ourselves as a society and how we treat one another based on social status and how superficial those statuses really are when we step out of our own ‘comfort zones’ and cross social boundaries and interact with other human beings whom we find to have a lot more in common with than we had preconceived.

One can’t help but wonder a couple of things when we finish watching this film and one is rather obvious:  Did they really treat each other as friends or even ‘equals’ when they returned to school on Monday?  The other question is what if everyone watched this film with an open mind, would we, as a society, at least attempt to look beyond our own social boundaries and try to discover the meaning of humanity?

After pondering these things a little too deeply, I traded DVDs out and popped in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Great comedy that’s not quite as deep!  As a matter of fact, I need to go finish that now as our hero has just broken his girlfriend out of school and they were just hitting the city with his best friend Cameron!  Indeed, John Hughes’ films will live on!

I hope everyone went and saw their dear moms for Mother’s Day!  I did but I’ll get to that in a few.

First off, as I’m sure everyone knows, Star Trek opened on Friday so I went to check it out both before and after my air shift.  After work, I met up with my friend Steve who used to do maintenance at my apartment complex along with his brother-in-law Rich and Jeff and Willie from my band TRAGEDY CHAPTER to catch the 8 o’clock showing on Hollywood 20’s digital projector.

The film was great although I was a bit disappointed I think mainly because I had built it up in my head for many moons!  Still, the film was visually stunning and had a fairly unique and complex storyline.  Trekkies should not be disappointed though I, of course, am a Star Wars geek!

Star Trek  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

Saturday I loafed around all day and watched Hotel for Dogs with Rebecca since she had it on her Netflix.  It was a cute movie filled with wondrous inventions and that tugs at the emotions of any dog lover - yeah, I may have shed a tear or two…..

Hotel for Dogs  \m/  \m/  \m/  \n

Yesterday morning I got up rather early so I could make it to my childhood church where my cousin Ray was dedicating his 7-month-old son Jay.  When I got there, I saw people who have known me my whole life who looked at me as if I were some heathen who’s been out raping babies since I no longer go to their church - which, by the way, is hardcore Southern Baptist.  To top it off, I ran into the former pastor’s son who I went to high school with who also happens to work with my drummer Willie.  He said he had heard TRAGEDY CHAPTER’s music from Willie’s iPod and thought we sounded really good.  Then he had to announce immediately after that he doesn’t listen to my radio station anymore because we’re so ‘anti’ everything he believes in.  Okay, granted, we are a rock station that is predominately, well, sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll with songs like “Crazy Bitch” by BUCKCHERRY, “Bad Girlfriend” by THEORY OF A DEADMAN and “Figured You Out” by NICKELBACK but it’s not like EVERY song pertains to sex and it’s not like we’re advocating worshipping Satan, killing your mother or raping babies!  Now I know why I no longer go there and why so many of my colleagues and I go to a nondenominational church!

After getting home, Mom called me and said she was turning onto Woodruff Rd so I got in my Jeep to meet her at Cracker Barrel.  As soon as got in my car, she called back and said that there was a line of cars just trying to get a parking space.  I then asked her if she was that hungry to which she said she wasn’t so I told her to meet me at the station so I could go charge my iPod on the computer in my office since I don’t have one of my own!  When I got to the station I gave her the rose I got for her from church that morning and the $5 cake I got at the Wal-Mart on Pelham Rd with strawberry filling!  I then showed her around the station since she’s never been inside and then we went over to Best Buy for a little shopping.  She picked up Liar Liar and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford on DVD while I nabbed Night at the Museum on Blu-ray since the sequel is hitting theaters this summer and I haven’t seen my copy of the DVD since I moved into my apartment two years ago.

When then went to Cracker Barrel at about 2 in the afternoon after the worst of the crowd had died out.  We brought the cake in with us, had lunch and some tasty strawberry-filled Mother’s Day cake!  Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  Love, your TWISTED son Todd!

Okay, I know the title is rather dramatic and cliche, but it’s true - and I do have a flair for the dramatic!  Today, the first black president will be sworn into office and, more importantly, the face of this country will change and some fresh ideas will be put into action.  Not to mention the fact that this event is taking place the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  I don’t have much time to elaborate before the event begins at noon since I have a music meeting before then.  All I can say is that my hopes and aspirations are high under the leadership of President Barack Obama.  He is in my prayers and I wish him Godspeed.

Sorry for the brevity of this blog but I will write another either today or tomorrow giving my reaction to the inauguration, the line-up for Super Bowl XLIII and the general weekend wrap-up complete with DVD and Blu-ray reviews.

Last night Rebecca and I went to go see the remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly.  Critics were not very kind to the remake, but I rather liked the film with it’s dazzling special effects and it’s environmentalist message.  I thought the updated version was very relevant to our current time of crisis.  My only regret was that I did not see it in IMAX!

The Day the Earth Stood Still  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m

Before the film started there, of course, were several movie trailers including a couple of badass-looking films like X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the updated Star Trek.  One trailer that made me made turn white with fear was the one for the upcoming disaster flick 2012.  Let me say that I am a huge fan of horror movies and I love being scared.  However, no horror film can even come close to terrifying me as much as disaster films such as The Day After, Armageddon and The Day After Tomorrow with their all too realistic messages of very possible ‘what-if’ scenarios.  I have no doubt that 2012 will leave me trembling to the point of near catatonia!

For those not familiar with significance of the year 2012, it is the year in which the ancient Mayan calendar comes to a screeching halt with no real explanation to its abrupt end.  Many scientists in numerous fields have speculated on many theories and there are several astrological events scientifically scheduled to take place in that year including two different solar eclipse events as well as the phenomenon known as Galactic Alignment although many astronomers speculate that this phenomenon has already occurred.  Either way, December 21, 2012, the day of the year’s winter solstice, is the day many believe to be Doomsday.

I normally don’t buy into specific dates being cited for the Apocalypse because, being a man of the Christian faith, I believe in what the Bible says and Jesus said that no man will know the day or hour in which the Earth will pass away (Matthew 24:35, 36).  Nevertheless, there’s always that part of me that gets nervous when the calendar reaches the ‘Doomsdates’.  Even though I do not believe December 21, 2012 will be the day the world comes to an emphatic end, it does seem that something significant is indeed going to occur cosmically that year.  Could this be a tie-in to the events prophesied in the book of Revelations?  I guess we’ll find out in four years!

Ok, well we haven’t been sucked into a black hole, so at least science hasn’t killed us all as of yet in the search for answers to the origins of life.  But is this not the biggest bunch of boocrap billing for billions of bucks?  I mean ten billion dollars just to prove and better understand the “Big Bang” Theory?  And, to top it off, at the risk of possibly annihilating life on Earth in the process?  Granted it was only an extremely slim chance and life is about taking risks, but how great of a price is that chance?  Destroying life on Earth in an attempt to understand how it began?

There’s a book in my car right now that I am taking with me to Atlanta for the rest of the week that clearly tells how the world began and it’s called the Bible.  Now I’m not going to start preaching or Bible-thumping here, but, even if you don’t believe in God, this whole overpriced, glorified science project is downright ludicrous!  Isn’t there something better we could do with ten billion dollars than try to play God at the potential expense of the entire human race?  If this were a comic book, wouldn’t these European scientists be the diabolical villains?  For some odd reason I’m thinking of Doc Ock’s little pet project in Spider-Man 2 - just on a much grander scale!  I don’t even think Oscorp could cough up ten billion big ones for the science fair!

This weekend it became painfully clear to me that I am losing touch with the outside world.  Not with what’s going on in the world, but with people in general.  All my life I have always been someone of a loner.  No, I wasn’t the quiet kid everyone was afraid was going to just snap and go on a shooting rampage (remember I went to school before Columbine and related incidents).  I have always been rather outgoing associating with many but getting close to very few.  Even my best friend I am not very close with being he lives in Atlanta and we both lead very busy lives.

Since college, I have really only been close with someone if I was in a (romantic) relationship.  Having just come out of a year-long relationship back in May, I have, until recently, maintained a close friendship with my ex Rebecca.  Now that we are no longer on speaking terms, I feel very isolated from other people.  I even had a lady friend stay with me most of the weekend after meeting up with her and some friends at the PARMALEE show at the Handlebar Friday night.  At first it was great having some female companionship, but, on Saturday, I started withdrawing inward into my own twisted little world.

Yesterday, I went and had lunch with my mom and aunt (yes, the infamous Aunt Pat!) as I do nearly every Sunday, but it was rather short as I went to meet my friend Robbie at Guitar Center.  I grabbed a couple of guitar stands for ten bucks and we rode over to Jack in the Box so he could grab something to eat and we could catch up being he has been spending a lot of time at home with his wife and kids.  We sat and talked and even in that brief amount of time I started to feel alienated.  I’m not sure what it is exactly.  I think part of it has to do with the fact that I can’t identify with his lifestyle as a family man.  Not that there is anything wrong with it, I just can’t identify with it.  Even my cousin Ray, with whom I have been fairly close with all of our lives, is now married and expecting his firstborn son in less than a month.

I have always made the lighthearted observation that I am like the Muppets character Gonzo in that you really don’t know what he is being he is just some oddball character who loves putting on a show.  Of course, you would later find out he is really an alien in Muppets From Space.  Many people think I am just like Animal with my crazy red hair and even crazier spastic persona, but the truth is that Gonzo truly is the one I relate to the most with my sense of (no pun intended) alienation.

Maybe I just need to continue to draw inward and attempt to really discover myself and keep my public and private self as two different entities.  However, I will not hide my private self because I don’t believe in hiding anything.  Which is why I am writing this.  I am labelling this as another chapter of ‘Words of Twisdom’ even though there really aren’t any words of wisdom here, just an educated observation of myself.  Which is what further confuses me about my lifelong isolation.  I am one of the most open, honest people you will ever meet which are qualities you would think people would flock to.  But, then again, a lot of people can’t handle honesty.  To quote good ol’ Jack Nicholson, “You can’t handle the truth!”  Plus, I do have to be guarded because I meet some ‘interesting’ people being I am broadcasted almost daily over open airwaves with the push of nearly 100,000 watts.  Sadly, as I result, I end up avoiding some potentially valuable relationships.

However, for the time being, I am going to continue my routine of getting the job done then rewarding myself by making time for myself.  And now I have a new incentive to do so being I just got my Marvel and DC Comics encyclopedias from Amazon.com on Friday.  There’s a reason they put a big smile on their boxes!  And they should keep me preoccupied until something else comes along!

Ideally, relationships are meant to bring the best out of two people.  However, in many cases, the opposite is true.  Most, if not all, of us at one point or another, meet someone that brings the worst out of us.  Many of us meet several in our lifetimes.  I am certainly no exception.

In college, I met a girl from Florida named Elena whose parents were from Puerto Rico.  We hit it off immediately and got along great…..for a whole weekend.  She being a college freshman (I being a sophomore at the time) she wanted to date around which was understandable - except for the fact she kept going after my friends and then ran back to me after getting shot down.  This went on for a whole semester with her last pursuit being my first cousin and bandmate Ray.  This was too much for me to handle but still I wanted her.

Christmas break came and we went back home - me to Greenville and Elena to Florida.  She began writing me like every other day (this was just before the internet and email took off) and she’d ask about Ray.  At this time was when Ray and his now wife Erin began dating.  Needless to say Elena was crushed, but bounced back by claiming to have ‘come to her senses’ and realizing that she only wanted me.  Of course, to me at that time, this was wonderful news!

So, when we returned to Winthrop the next semester, we began our hot ‘n’ heavy relationship with the both of us quickly losing our virginities (yes, I was a virgin until I was 19).  However, it wasn’t just our passion that was hot ‘n’ heavy - our fighting became quite notorious as we would sometimes fight clear across campus.  That woman pulled elements out of me that no other woman ever has (and hopefully never will).

After dating for three semesters (roughly a year and a half), Elena broke up with me during summer break while she was taking summer classes at Winthrop to, again, pursue other relationships.  So our relationship had come full circle and my heart was severely broken.  Was she worth my time in the first place?  Surely not, but that didn’t matter because my heart often overrides the functions of my brain.  That and my libido!

The only other person to have ever caused as much grief and heartache would be my most recent ex-girlfriend Rebecca.  When I first met her, she was living in Savannah so I kept my distance because I’ve had enough bad experiences with long distance relationships.  We kept in touch through MySpace although she dodged any proposal of meeting up.  Finally one day she actually called me and we began talking and I learned that she was moving back to Greenville.

She was in town for a couple of weeks prior to her actual move and we went out and hit it off…..for about a month.  Hey, I admit, that was longer than Elena!  We started dating officially after only a week and then she was back in Savannah.  Almost immediately after our first date, her ‘best friend’ which also happened to be her ex-boyfriend, started in trying to sabotage the relationship by pulling various stunts.  Rebecca, of course, just tried to dismiss his actions because she valued him as a friend even to the point of it jeopardizing our relationship.

At first, I rolled with it as best I could because I really felt Rebecca and I had real potential.  However, their relationship obviously made me very insecure in our relationship and, after about a month, it started to take its toll.  Over the next six months, she broke up with me at least half a dozen times.

To make matters worse, when she returned to Greenville and bought her first house, I would drop by to see her to find her ex there - and sometimes at late hours!  I would walk in and nothing would be going on, but Rebecca would be visibly startled to see me and then be quick to get defensive when I made my accusatory conclusions.  Do I think there was anything going on?  Actually no, I really do believe that Rebecca is just too nice a person to see the harm in certain things and certain people.  To this day I don’t believe she sees her ex for who he really is.

Late last year, I did some probing and found some inappropriate things, not necessarily physical, about their relationship and brought it to her attention.  That encounter did not go well at all, but I think it actually sobered the girl up just a bit.  Over the holidays we slowly patched things up and took our last run of the relationship after the new year.  She put her friendship with her ex aside and we had a fairly decent run for a few months.

Back in March, we took our first (and consequently only) vacation together as we went to Savannah for St. Patty’s Day weekend and then went down to Orlando.  During that time, it became painfully obvious to me that I was growing tired of the relationship largely due to our lack of communication.  I still loved her very much, but, despite all the time we were spending together, we never really talked.  Obviously I am open about EVERYTHING!  Rebecca, on the other hand, is not.  She is content with letting things slide instead of addressing them.  I am much more confrontational.  I love to talk.  She prefers to just sit quietly with her significant other and say very little.

Granted, there is nothing wrong with either trait, but those traits make our personalities almost irreversibly incompatible.  So, at Spring Fling this year, we had our final fight as a couple.  She had a friend pick her up in Spartanburg and we officially ended the relationship that night.  After being together off and on for right at a year, neither of us wanted to just say goodbye.  Of course, Rebecca is obviously used to being friends with her exes in the first place.

So, we tried seeing each other as friends.  Well, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog right now had that plan worked out.  As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure Rebecca is not going to be happy that this blog is being written as I am sure she will be reading it.  However, I am actually not doing this for the sheer intent of upsetting her in any way though I’d be lying if I said I had not the slightest bit of ill will.

The fact is that Rebecca has a good heart and I truly believe that.  However, my friend Mikey summed it very well in saying that she has her priorities straight when it comes to her job and finances but tends to let her friends come at a distant second.  This consequently makes her somewhat unreliable as she rarely does what she says she will do - well at least in the time frame she says she will.  Me, I am punctual and prompt in nearly every way - at least when it counts considering I am late to the office almost every day but, hey, I get the job done!

Again, this difference in traits has made it virtually impossible for us to coexist as friends.  At least as close as we had been until recently.  Her inability to do as she promises to had finally reached the breaking point for me.  So I demanded the key to my apartment back after telling her off.

Instead of giving it to me in person, she took it upon herself to enter my apartment yesterday while I was making my weekly visit to see my mom and aunt, took her bridesmaid dress she had left after a wedding and slid the key back under the door after locking up.  Needless to say, I was furious when I got home at the fact that she had entered my apartment after I had told her to return my key.  Being an assistant manager at an apartment community, she knew that there was nothing I could do legally, but how does reflect upon her especially considering her profession?

I am honestly baffled by her recent actions as they do not seem to come from the same person I have cared about for so long.  Ultimately, that is the inspiration for writing this blog as it makes me reflect upon not only this relationship which was doomed from the beginning, but all of my doomed relationships in the past, only one of which I spotlighted for relevance.  It is also the reason I have made a new blog category called “Words of Twisdom” as I am hoping to share the lessons I have learned in the past.  Hell, who am I kidding, I just hope I learn from my past mistakes!  If you gained any insight from this or have something to share yourself, feel free to leave your own thoughts - granted they’re not as ‘twisted’ as mine!

And since I’m talking about doomed relationships, you can see just how ‘bad’ your girlfriend is by taking the “Bad Girlfriend” survey here.